Internet Woes

When you live out in the country, you have some challenges. Mine is internet connectivity. You see, DSL/Cable, etc internet is not available in my area. This makes things very difficult at times. I have internet through my wireless carrier, I can connect it to my laptop or desktop and with a little effort, I’m online. Just hoping I don’t get a phone call while I’m in the middle of something. Kinda a hassle!

At any rate, I’ve been gone a few days while switching cell phones and ran into snags…multiple ones LOL! Finally, I’m getting everything worked out and the new phone works with the desktop only.

I’ll have new pictures and posts very soon, but wanted to let you guys know what’s going on with my little world.

Oh! And, if you know of any other solutions (Satellite internet IS an option but is very pricey, with a long contract, is limited AND is sketchy depending upon weather), please PLEASE let me know. I’m not in the middle of nowhere, but there just aren’t enough households in this area for carriers to justify the expense for some reason. I, along with everyone else out here, am desperate for good and fast internet.

Accomplishments

It’s hard to believe time passes as fast as it does! I know everyone says that but really, nothing could be more accurate. We eventually learn to listen to our elders…even if it’s because we become the elders at some point! This just goes to show all of us that we have to take our lives and make them count.

For each of us, that means different things. And, that is what I believe makes people so interesting. We become worth knowing when we embrace ourselves, get down to the root of who we really are. Otherwise, we are just some cookie cutter mold of everyone else we know….having the same old kinds of conversation, listening to the same old kinds of music, and the list goes on. We like what we like. We have opinions. We have LIFE. No matter what cards we’re dealt with doesn’t matter unless we let it. How we choose to handle our cards we’re dealt is the true test of life.

I’ve figured out ways to make my personal life healthy…especially as I’ve gotten older. It’s really very simple. Surrounding one’s self with the most positive people is one of the best gifts you can give your life. I’m not talking about the happy, bubbly, fake people but the ones who are real…who deal with life’s problems and make their way out of strife with grace and a positive outlook. I’m not saying discard the ones who bring you down, but keep them at arm’s length, protect yourself from the downward spiral they put you in the middle of without even meaning to do so.

When those kinds of things are in the right place in your life, you’ll be surprised at all you can accomplish.

With that being said, I’m in a snowy sorta mood as of late. My paintings reflect this. Here’s my latest, “Santa’s Country Ride”:

 

You can see the listing on ebay by clicking here.

 

Isn’t life wonderful? I love my life and love what I’m doing. It’s amazing if you take the time to do things you love…even if that’s painting a Santa and some horses.

Dreams and Reality

Last night I dreamed I had a magnet on my chin. A round ceramic cream colored circle painted with tiny roses and flowers with a magnet on the back. I admit I have some odd dreams but it’s always amazing to do dream interpretation on them to discover the meaning.

This one, from what I’ve gathered, could mean I have unrealized potential and I can bounce back from adversity. Doesn’t this go along with my latest posts? I feel incredibly in tune with myself and being able to realize where I stand, what I’m doing and where I’m going. And, that I’ve finally come far enough to see this!

Dreams fascinate me. I love having them and then seeing what they mean. A completely odd dream suddenly makes sense…even something as bizarre as walking around with a magnet on your chin can make complete sense sometimes LOL!

With my craziness now being on record, I should talk about something different. Let me just end this post on a picture of one of my newest paintings. This is an ACEO painting in acrylics on Bristol that I titled “Peace Joy and Love” (You can click here to see the listing) :

 

Having Faith

”It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work, and then we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey.” ~ Wendell Berry

I posted that quote on my personal Facebook page yesterday. Unless you have been there or are currently there, that quote won’t mean so much to you. It means a whole heck of a lot to me.

The past three years have been some of the hardest ones I’ve ever come out the other side of! I worked in the corporate world for all my life, starting out at 18 years old as a Secretary. I worked my way up to Office Manager and did that for many years.  Then in 2010 after 22 years of corporate life, I quit. I’d planned on moving to New Mexico but those plans were not to be. The guy whom I’d known for 15 years stationed in Alamogordo with the Air Force just suddenly disappeared (months later I found out it was for health reasons but at the time, I had no clue). I was two days before leaving, had sold or given away most of my things, had subletted my apartment, moved everything else in storage, had said good-bye to my family and friends, had an awesomely high paying job already secured (would have been the best one of my professional career)….then it all fell apart. Again – TWO DAYS before I was to drive the 20 hours to get there.

What was to happen after that was chaos, hurt, anger, depression, and basically having myself an unplanned sabbatical. This had come after a divorce, thus the need for the move.  God had other plans for me though I thought it was the end. Somehow, I worked through it. I began my own business. It was to be a green cleaning business. It started out really well but I wasn’t happy in it, still I was not where I was meant to be but I was meant to be there at that time. If I even thought of going back to a “typical job”, I physically became ill. I couldn’t do it.

Then, I was back on my feet. Through this cleaning business. I had tons of work going on and things were finally looking up. During this, I realized I was paying more for my apartment per month than a house payment would be. I’d always wanted to have my own fixer-upper cottage. And, I found one. I could see all kinds of possibilities for it but it needed A LOT of work. Still, I could see something so beautiful about the potential. I bought it and WORKED HARD on it. I did most of the work myself, but then suddenly my business wasn’t doing so well. I had been requested to take on some foreclosure work and the work needed in these houses weren’t things I could do very much of myself, so I had to hire those jobs out to subcontractors. This went “ok” at first. Then, everything fell apart again. I wasn’t sure what I could do differently. I couldn’t go out and “fix” what was wrong that the subcontractors did. I could ask and ask and ask of them to go fix it so they could get paid but in many cases it didn’t happen….or it didn’t happen satisfactorily. At this point, I had to regroup.  In the meantime, my little house I’d put 110%  into was still having issues upon issues. To make a long story of the house short, I had to get out of it due to some structural issues which would cost more than I had, not to mention make the house cost more that it was worth to sell in the future. I tried to work with the sellers on restructuring the price due to the issues on it, but they wouldn’t budge. They would let me free of the contract, if I were to move out in two weeks. This turned my life upside down, as you can imagine.

Somehow, though, when I moved back to my hometown everything started getting better. I had begun a new path of business and dropped the cleaning and foreclosure work. Now, things feel right. I don’t think I’ll be doing what I’m doing for a long length of time but I’m content in it while I get where I need to be. I have goals for my life and I’m working toward them.

Which brings me to my reason for explaining all that…I love to paint. It is my therapy. It is my happiness. It is my heart and soul. That’s what I want to do. That’s what I WILL do. I won a contest with a painting, I’ve sold my paintings all over the world, I’ve had a publicist contact me for using some of my artwork in a book, I’ve had one of my paintings featured in a famous musician’s dinner party, I’ve had a gaming company contact me for use of my paintings in their game, I’ve had one of my paintings used as the artwork for an up and coming band, I’ve painted Christmas ornaments for Liz Claiborne customers at Macy’s, I have some of my paintings featured in a local restaurant…and much more.  So why is it that I can’t seem to think I’ll make it as an artist? With all those things behind me and so many more ahead, I need to start believing in myself.

During all these thoughts, I then stumbled upon this quote, “The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize.” ~Robert Hughes

I will never have perfect confidence, I’ll always be unsure of my creative work. Creating is personal to me. It comes from deep within and presents itself in a form of which all the world can view. My art makes me vulnerable and a tad paranoid in a twisted sort of way. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe that’s a really, really good thing.

Finding Where You Belong

There’s something about the early signs of Fall that absolutely makes me feel good from the top of my head to the tips of my soul, especially after a horribly hot Summer!

This Summer was particularly record setting in temps and drought so this cooler nip in the air is exciting! It’s like walking outside and feeling the breeze after so many weeks and weeks of no breeze, breathes life into my soul! Thoughts of the upcoming holidays flood my mind and I start getting a bit inspired.

My biggest problem with inspiration is direction. I like so many things and can do so many things that I can’t seem to focus on one thing or one style. This is not a consistent way to be when you’re trying to build a following. The largest part of doing what you’re meant to do is to do what you’re passionate about. What if I’m passionate about many things?? On any given day I can go from wanting to create something pink and cottagey to something dark and Halloweeny. So, then, what’s a girl to do? I don’t really see a way to do it all, because it’s too broad.

In the meantime, I’m trying to figure it all out. It’s all part of the experience, I suppose. But the way I see it, if you’re not passionate about it, you aren’t going to stay with it. I know this is true for me. Expect to see anything here, as I work my way through this process. If you’ve been following me a while, you know this about me already.  It’s just a matter of time at this point before I hit on the right thing and this hint of fall in the air? Well, it’s got my mind racing with possibilities. And, I can hardly wait!!!